She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass
And whistles on the stair

And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the abbey
She's always late for chappel but her penitence is real
She's always late for everything except for every meal

I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey
I like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find a word that means Maria
A flibbertijibbet, a will o-the wisp, a clown

Many a thing you know you like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say

How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you hold our moonbeam in your hand?
When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bermused

And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as wheather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb

She'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle, she is wild

She's a riddle, she's a child
She's a headache, she's and angel
She's a girl
How do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you hold our moonbeam in your hand?
How do you find a word that means Maria
A flibbertijibbet, a will o-the wisp, a clown
Many a thing you know you like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you hold our moonbeam in your hand?