Nobody picks up a penny anymore
The old signs are now new stores
Sale, sale, there's one in every door
It's a wonder i don't go out anymore

There's houses where the trees used to be
Oil cans in the sea
Bottled water for a fee
Hostages that were once free

Meter maids they're never on strike
Traffic jams up and down the pike
$400 bucks just to buy a bike
$50 more for the kryptonite

Dinner is cold and so is your date
The grateful dead are now forty eight
We're all trying to watch our weight
With tofu and granola

There's pizza pads on every ave
Eighteen movies and they're all bad
Your favorite group is now a fad
Heck the whole world's gone mad

Why, look at baseball it just isn't the same
Pete rose ought to change his name
After all he bet on the game
Money's more important than the hall of fame?

Manager's, agents, they have no heart
Cutbacks, setbacks, tear you apart
The bills are paid but the car won't start
Leave it in the yard, call it art

Sunny days yes there are those
But what's the use when you have to wear clothes
Cake white junk on your nose
And all the spots where the cancer grows

Well i've tried real hard but it's no use
I'll stay at home with no excuse
Talk to my dog who speaks the truth

And protect myself from the murderers
And the fast food restaurants
The stabbers
The wanna be debutantes
The escapees
Who concrete parking lots
It's a wonder i don't go out anymore.