Andrew: Oh hey Adam, what are you doing?
Adam:Oh hey Andrew, I was just about to sing a song about my number one girl.
Andrew: Oh yeh? Mind if I join you?
Adam: Not at all, good buddy. Let's do it
Andrew: Alright.

Adam: I can cook you dinner,
And be by your side,
Bathe in the moonlight,
Get lost in your eyes,

Andrew: I'll run my hands through your hair
As I caress your face
We can cuddle all night
And watch Will and Grace

Together: 'Cos she's the girl for me

Adam: Man those chicks really like that show
Andrew: Among others...
Adam: What do you mean?
Andrew: Uh nothing
Adam: OK

Adam: I'll bring flowers to your doorstep
When we go out on dates
We can lay on the beach
And I'll hand-feed you grapes

Andrew: I can unwrap your package
And you'll unwrap mine
And I'll kiss your neck
As I do you from behind

Together: 'Cos she's the girl for me

Adam: Uh, Andrew, what did you mean by unwrapping the other package?
Andrew: You know, like presents and exchanging gifts and stuff like that.
Adam: Oh, and why would you do it from behind?
Andrew: You never heard of doggy style? Girls really like that.
Adam: Oh OK. I thought you were saying gay things.
Andrew: No. You know me better than that.
Adam: Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.

Adam: I want you to say,
You'll always be with me,
I'll give you a backrub,
Write you poetry

Andrew: I can give you a Hummer,
We can look for shoe sales,
Then dance to the Village People
And go to Chippendales

Together: 'Cos she's the girl for me

Adam: OK That was definitely gay
Andrew: What the hell are you talking about?
Adam: You know what a Hummer is, don't you? It's a blow job.
Andrew: No it isn't. It just means oral sex. It can be used for both sexes.
Adam: Are you sure? Cos I'm pretty sure it's referring to pleasuring the male...
Andrew: Adam, trust me.
Adam: Well then why the hell would you go to Chippendales?
Andrew: What? You took your girlfriend to Centrefold, what's the difference?
Adam: I don't know, there just is.
Andrew: Well, I'm comfortable with my sexuality. If my girl wants to go see men strip, I wanna be there to support her. I'm sorry if you're too immature and insecure in your own sexuality to understand it.
Adam: Well, since when have you danced to the Village People?
Andrew: Oh, come on Adam. They play their stuff everywhere. Is everyone who dances to the Village People gay?
Adam: No, I guess not.
Andrew: You know what Adam? I think you're obsessed with gay people.
Adam: No I'm not obsessed with homosexuals. Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. Let's just continue with the song. I swear I won't jump to anymore conclusions.
Andrew: Alright

Adam: I'll try my best
To be the man of your dreams
Stay with you through hard times
No matter how bad they seem

Andrew: I'll kiss your Adam's Apple
Put your balls in my mouth
And give you a hand job
Before I go south
You being a chick
Won't make me happy
Pound my ass
Pull out and cock-slap me
'Cos that's the guy for me
I like dudes

Andrew: ... What?
Adam: What do you mean 'What?' That wasn't even inuendo. You're just talking about gay business.
Andrew: Adam, you promised you wouldn't jump to conclusions.
Adam: Jump to conclusions? How's a girl gonna pound your ass and cock-slap you?
Andrew: ... She could be wearing a strap-on
Adam: What?!? You explicitly said you like dudes and chicks don't make you happy.
Andrew: You're taking that way out of context.
Adam: Come on, you are gay. Just admit it. You like doing men.
Andrew: I swear I don't.
Adam: Andrew, seriously, you are gay.
Andrew: ... Alright, maybe I am.
Adam: OK.
Andrew: OK. So. What do you wanna do now?
Adam: Um. You wanna come over to my place?
Andrew: Yeah alright.
Adam: OK