It's so weird

I'm getting older, I think I'm aging well
I wish someone had told me I'd be doing this by myself
There's reasons that I'm thankful
There's a lot I'm grateful for
But it's different when a stranger's
Always waiting at your door
Which is ironic 'cause the strangers seem to want me more
Than anyone before (Anyone before)
Too bad they're usually deranged

Last week I realized I crave pity
When I retell a story, I make evеrything sound worse
Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at hеaling
And maybe that's the reason
why each sentence sounds rehearsed
Which is ironic because when I wasn't honest
I was still being ignored (Lying for attention
just to get neglection)
Now we're estranged

Things I once enjoyed
Just keep me employed now
Things I'm longing for
Someday, I'll be bored of
It's so weird, oh, it's so weird
That we care so much until we don't

I'm getting older, I've got more on my shoulders
But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong
I'm happier than ever
At least, that's my endeavor
To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure
'Cause, to be honest, I just wish that what I promise
Would depend on what I'm given (Not on his permission)
(Wasn't my decision) To be abused

Things I once enjoyed (Ah)
Just keep me employed now
Things I'm longing for (Ah)
Someday, I'll be bored of
It's so weird, so weird
Oh, we care so much, until we don't

Yeah, oh, oh, oh, ooh
That we care so much
Until we don't

But next week, I hope I'm somewhere laughing
For anybody asking, I promise I'll be fine
I've had some trauma, felt things I didn't wanna
Was too afraid to tell ya
But now I think it's time