Performed by Adam Sandler, David Spade, Tim Herlihy, Steve Koren, and Tim Meadows
[Typical library sounds, squeekin chairs/doors]
[Talking quietly] M1: "Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man." M2: "We just had a test a week ago. Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!" M1: "And it counts for 80 percent of our grade." M2: "Well we better study our butts off." M1: "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library." M2: "Ok, enough talking, let's study!" M1: "All right." [Turning pages]
[Heavy steps] M2: "Uh oh" M1: "Oh no! Fatty McGee is coming. We'll never get any studying done with him in the library." [Heavy steps continue] M2: "Oh god, he's taking the stairs! That means he's going to be way out of breath!"
[Fatty whining, try to catch breath] M1: "Oh no, he's going to sit with us." Fatty: [Annoying whining voice] "Hey fellas, studying for the big test?" M1: "Uh, yes Fatty, we were." Fatty: [Still trying to catch breath] "Great! I'll join ya." [Fatty pulls out chair and falls into it, still whining horribly] M2: "Hey Fatty, why don't you go to the bathroom 'till you catch your breath?" Fatty: "No, no, I'm catching it!" [Fatty continuing to whine and snort] M1: "Ok, ok Fatty, but try to keep the wheezing level down, we're trying to concentrate." Fatty: [Continuing to wheeze and whine louder] "Sure, no problem." M1: "Oh man." Fatty: [Still snorting and whining loudly] "This test counts for eighty percent of our grade, you know." [Whining continues even louder] M1: "Yes Fatty, we know, we just said that." [Wheezing continues a little softer] M2: "Fatty! Please keep it down!"
[Fatty makes snoring/whining sounds]
M2: "Is he sleeping!?" M1: "No, it's his deviated sceptum. Seriously Fatty, keep the breathing down." [Snoring stops, more weird noise starts] M2: "Ahh geez Fatty, what's wrong with you!?" Fatty: [Pausing, snorting] "I'm trying." [Whining continues] M1: "Fatty, you know what's going to happen! Stop breathing so heavy! Please we gotta study!" [Whining gets higher and higher until it's continuous] M2: "Oh no, that one's going to do it!"
[Fire alarm sounding, fire trucks honking their horns, sirens reeling] M2: "Fatty, the fire department thinks the fire alarm went off again!" Fatty: [Continuing his LOUD annoying whine] "I'm sorry!" Fireman Ray: "Fire! Man the building!" M1: "Sorry Fireman Ray, it's not the fire alarm." Fireman Ray: "Fatty McGee, is that you again!?" Fatty: [Stillin whining annoyingly] "Yes." [Snort] "Sorry." [Snort] Fireman Ray: "Didn't we tell you not to take the stairs anymore!?" Fatty: [Whiney voice] "But I like the stairs!" Fireman Ray: [annoyed] "Why!?" Fatty: [Still whining horribly] "They're fun!" Fireman Ray: "Oh Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!" [Everyone laughing at stupid joke]