can remember the first girl that I did love It was Stephanie In kindergarten arithmetic classes she used to Sit next to me I'd pass her sticky sweets under the table Where the teacher couldn't see Although she wouldn't remember me now Sometimes I wonder where she can be
I can remember the first girl I kissed It was Christine when I was ten I'd been told we were moving away I thought I'd never see her again Oh don't forget me I'll be back when they let me Before you learn how to lie when you're leaving Love is so much easier then
And at school would you believe three hundred boys And no girls at all But you're a fool if you should leave Just think of the joys of rugby football And prep in the morning and Brylcreem and acne And cross-country running to kill evil thoughts I'm surprised that I survived I ran ten thousand miles with my back to the wall
I can remember the first girl that I made love to It was in a park In the lower pleasure gardens in Bournemouth In summer just after dark My mind was reeling: Oh what a feeling. I missed the bus and walked twelve miles home And it really didn't seem far
And all through my seventeenth summer Running together from crowds and ties Taking our clothes off and feeling each other With fingers and senses and mouths and eyes Incurring the glances of old disapproval From elderly local inhabitant's eyes Oh time, time we hardly even knew you You didn't touch us with your lies
In the halcyon days of my late adolescence My goal seemed clearly in sight Playing electric guitar with a beat group We set the ballrooms alight Camping it up for the dyed blonde receptionists Who told us we were al-ri-yi-yight On an ego trip for a teenage superstar On thirty shillings a nigh-yight
And so it fell that I came up to London To look for fortune and fame Starry eyed in my seaside successes And much too sure of the game First girl I met thereI thought I'd get there But the first girl was nearly the last girl She left my eyes in the drain She sat on my floor in the dead of the night Rolling a joint and looking round for a light Her clothes were so black and her face was so white How could I know what was right?
And I sat all huddled upon my bed Watching her in my innocence And it was no sense at all, but too much sense That took me to the bridge of impotence Oh Artaud's anthology lay spread on the floor And the thoughts that she gave me, I'd not met before And stranded half hypnotised, I watched her in awe Of everything that she stood for
And I wanted more than anything to be like her with every sense But it was no sense at all, but too much sense That took me to the bridge of impotence She came over to me and kissed me in play Taking my hand between her legs as she lay And she looked in my eyes but I turned them away Finding no words fit to say
And I hated myself, but could not move Shattered in my confidence But it was no sense at all, but too much sense That took me to the bridge of impotence Now the stare of the lightbulb tore holes in my brain As she got up in the silence that hung like a stain And I wanted to speak, or to call out her name But how could I begin to explain?
And my prosecuting room still holds A strand of her hair in evidence But it was no sense at all, but too much sense That took me to the bridge of impotence Oh I still think about her when the night fills with rain And speaks in its voices uneasy and vain And I think were I maybe to find her again Oh I'd probably see her more plain
And I should have known she was just like me It was after all only common-sense But it was no sense at all, but too much sense That took me to the bridge of impotence But it was no sense at all, but too much sense That took me to the bridge of impotence
At first I didn't go out much at all I just stayed at home in my chains Picking over the threads of my confidence And searching for the remains And when I couldn't stand any more of it Going down to a club Mixing in with the sounds and the crowds I let the music cover me up
And only, lonely, the harlequins and painted phonies Pick their ways, through the haze Of highs and lows and blues And all that I could do was to pick my way to you Though I didn't tell you You were just a thing to prove I was hungry when found you, but I'm alright now
They sigh, they lie, the refugees and superheroes On ice, so nice to see you, what's your name? And all that I could do was to say the same to you Take you for the moment, though the moment wasn't true But I was hungry when I found you and I'm alright now
Though the street lamp cut through the curfew It shed no light on our mind It would have been so easy to love you At any other time Only, lonely, you came to me the night hung coldly In your eyes, some other time I might have stayed with you But all that I could do was to turn around to you Thanks for what you gave me now it's time to say "Adieu" I was hungry when I found you but I'm alright now.
Ba ba ba alright now
And so it came that I stood disillusioned By everything I'd been told I just didn't believe love existed They were all just digging for gold Widows and bankers and typists and businessmen Loved each other they said But all it was though was just a manoeuvre The quickest way into bed
And so I followed the others' example And jumped into the melee In the hunting grounds of Earls Court and Swiss Cottage I did my best to get laid Beer cans and parties, deb girls and arties Bouncing around in the social confusion Missing and making the grade
The very first time I must confess I thought you'd be like all of the rest And we'd be strangers once again By the time we were dressed But when you'd smoked your cigarette And talked of some people that we'd me I found myself asking was it set, did you have to go yet
And so you laughed and then kissed me And stayed for the whole weekend Although the bed was so narrow We had to sleep end to end
And so the weeks passed through my brain In their dadaistic chain I found myself seeing you again, and again and again And all you gave you gave it free Asking for nothing back from me You gave yourself unselfishly as a part of me And where I thought that just plucking The fruits of the bed was enough It grew to be less like fucking And more like making love
Of all the girls I ever knew some loved and some denied me And all the words I ever said have been no use to hide me And all the songs I ever sung each one of them untied me And all the girls I ever loved have left themselves inside me