Staring at the walls to pass the time Pinch myself make sure I'm still alive I'm not alright It's become a disguise Friends and family, I'm losing all ties Staring at the walls to pass the time Pinch myself; make sure I'm still alive I've been here before I will survive another month under gray skies I'm holding on as a tight as I can The monotony never seems to end Every day feels the same Every day I think about the place I'd rather be than here I've been here before I will survive another month under these grey skies We've carried each other through and over the seas We live for nights like this The ones we won't forget. I hope to open my eyes to see this picture I'm throwing it all away. I hope to open my eyes to see this moment that I should treasure forever Staring at the walls to pass the time Pinch myself; make sure I'm still alive I'm not alright It's become a disguise Friends and family, I'm losing all ties I'm holding on as tight as I can Coming home, I don't know when I'm holding on as tight as I can I swear My dearest love, I woke up tired today, even more so than yesterday How that's possible, I don't even know, nor do I want to. It's hard to find the motivation when you are this drained. My body aches but I'm used to feeling this way Seventeen down, seventeen to go That's not so bad, right? I think of home often and of you even more Yesterday I saw the sun shining. It appeared for a few minutes just after two For a moment I found myself smiling, as if those short rays of light were enough to get me by Maybe that was enough Thank God, I needed that I surely needed that