Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady
Bloody thorns round his ears like he was a crazy
He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine
Crushed a berry in his Perrier and called it wine

He said,
There's great sadness in life, but don't sit there and bulb:
Here's some tickets for your friends to the
Jesus Stag Night Club!?

I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging naked off a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire

Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car

Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man
When you throw it in the air it's resurrected from your hand
We went to a motel, he showed me his Bible
I said,Tell me the truth, while he looked me in the eyeball

He said,
There's great happiness in life but don't just sit there in love:
Here's some tickets for your friends to the
Jesus Stag Night Club!?

I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin' on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus

I'm getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I'm giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
This is my last few seconds on Earth?

Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up
He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow-handled coffee cup
I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up
But when I turned around I could see it was Jesus

I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging on a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire

Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car

I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin' on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus

I'm getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I'm giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
This is my last few seconds on Earth!?