Viv/Chorus : Castleford folk,
Look after each other.
Castleford folk,
Look after their own.
Castleford folk,
Are just like a fam'ly.
You'll never have to be alone
With Castleford folk around.
Welcome back home now
Viv and Keith
Welcome back home to
Where you belong.
Let us be just like one big happy fam'ly
The money won't have changed 'em
It won't have changed them one little bit.
They're Castleford folk like us
They're Castleford folk like -

Woman : Bloody 'ell.
Drinker : Go on, lad

Chorus : Give us three cheers,
For Viv and Keith.
Hip, hip, hooray! stay
Where you belong.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer couple
We hope it makes you happy.
We hope it makes you happy as hell
You're Castleford folk like us
You're Castleford folk like us.

Keith : We'll take care of thee
We'll take care of thee.
The drinks are on us
We'll pick up the tab.
We're going to get 'em in
Drink all that you want
Light, bitter or brown,
Drambuie, port or gin,
We'll take care of thee
We'll take care of thee.

Chorus : All aboard the gravy train,
Fill your boots, be quick before booze runs out
All aboard the gravy train.
Man : And mine's a brandy -
Why not? It's costing nowt.
Chorus : Let's get arseholed while it's there
We all work so hard, we deserve a bash,
They've got loads of cash to spare.
Woman : And it serves them right for both being flashy.

Viv/Girls : Nicholsons! The jammy bleeders
Jammy bleeders - that is all

Solo 2 : Now they think they're summat special
They'll be riding for a fall.

Chorus : They're riding for a fall.

George : While you were in London, you've had some post.
Viv : A sackful of beggin' letters.

Granny : Yesterday my wee cat, my little kitty died
Run down and killed,
And, dearie, how I cried.
Had her seventeen years
I'm eighty-two today.
But what will I do now pussy's gone away?
I've no-one to talk to without him around.
I'd buy another cat but I need eighty pound.
Oh, kitty,
Poor, kitty,
Who'll take care of me?
Who'll take care of me now you've gone?

Young Viv : We'll have to send her the money.
Viv : But the man from the Pools put us right.

Pools Man : They're written by pros,
They're all on the scrounge
They're conning you if they can
That little old dear's
A dangerous crook
And what's more she's a man!

Fraudster : Keep out of it, you!

Pools Man : I'll take care of these.

George : Daughter, oh, daughter
Don't she take after me?
Please put an end to my frettin'
All I am askin's
Has tha' made up tha mind,
How much thy dad'll be gettin'?

Young Viv : You're not gettin' a penny.
George : Remember how I brought you up from a little bairn!
Young Viv : I do. That's why you're not gettin' a penny.
George : Thanks for your honesty, love. She'll come round.
Chorus : Booze!
Down the booze!
George : Seeing stars?
I'm seeing comets!
Chorus : Booze!
Down the booze!
Girl : Won't be long before he vomits.
George : 'Eck! The wife is feeling frisky.
Chorus : Booze!
Down the booze!
George : Mary, quick!
Gonna need
Another whisky.
Landlady : Here's your bill, love.
It's gonna cost you a quid or two.
Keith : Bloody 'ell! It's six months' wages. Lucky I'm not earning them
anymore!
Behold! My brand new cheque book
Behold! My gold-nibbed Parker fountain pen
As used by gentlemen.
Behold! I'm like an artist
Behold! I sign my name like Mozart did
Behold! Two hundred quid!

Man : Nicholsons! The jammy bleeders,
Woman : Jumped up bigheads - that is clear.
Man : Truth to tell, I never liked 'em,
Woman : Even so, we'll drink their beer.
Man : Yes, we will drink their beer.
Chorus : Booze! Down the booze!
Man : Cheers, Keith!
Chorus : Booze! Down the booze!
Young Viv : Who's that?
Chorus : Booze! Down the booze
Keith : Never seen him before in me life.
Chorus : Booze! Down the booze!
Young Viv : I've not seen half of these before.
Keith : Just look at 'em, will yer!
Get drunker and sillier,
And as I look round here,
There's hardly a face that's remotely familiar.

Pushing, shoving, shouting in the streets
Dust-ups, bust-ups, all a bit too much.
People think you'll be an easy touch.
You meet old friends,
They make no sound.
There's nowt to say,
There's no common ground.
The world has changed,
For you and me,
And nothing in it ever can be the same.

Jealous Woman : Jammy pig!

Chorus : Get a new home now,
Viv and Keith.
Get a new home,
Somewhere you belong.
Stranger : How does it feel, like winning all that money?
Keith : Like being in a freak show,
And starring me, the king of the freaks,
We're Castleford folk no more.
Chorus : You're Castleford folk no more.

Viv : Laughing, talking, dancing in the streets,
Sing songs, ding dongs, dominoes and darts.
Front doors open wide, like people's hearts,
A better time
Went by so quick
Or is the mem'ry
Playing a trick?

Young Viv/Keith : The world has changed
For you and me
And nothing in it ever can be the same