You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.

Chorus
You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop.
Sticking out of your haversack, um,
I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar.
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

Chorus

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone.
From the house next door to his house on the lane
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

Chorus

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.