I woke up in a truck stop parking lot
A girl in a red white and blue halter top was staring
Thick glasses like mine
And a low bored monotone vocal fry
(I like that)

She said, who's the band on the bus?
What bus?
That one, nerd. The one that you got off of
Oh - Probably no one you've heard of

Don't know what came over me
As I awkwardly dropped my room key
I said I think that's yours
And three hours later I was banging this verse out

Oh no - head meet floor
I don't wanna do this no more
Every kiss is a jam band solo
Never gonna say YOLO no mo'
My mind says no
My body says hell no!
Let this be over
Exhausting lover

Not sure if she couldn't stop?
Or if she wouldn't stop?
As the motel carpet gave me five more raw spots
What's that stabbing my back?
(Ah, that's a wire from her halter top)
There was an hour where her head kept banging
Against the bottom of a table top
I saw my life in a split screen
But life's just one shot

What the hell would I tell my girlfriend?
But the thing is she's not my
girlfriend, anymore
I traded it all for some third degree carpet burn

Oh no - head meet floor
I don't wanna do this no more
Every kiss is a jam band solo
Never gonna say YOLO no mo'
My mind says no
My body says hell no!
Let this be over
Exhausting lover

Then she handed me a hot wheels track
I said, girl that's pretty weird
Where did you get that?
She said never mind that
Here nerd beat my ass in the bath like my dad did
When I was a bad kid
I said, nah what's this!
Let me up out of the Hotel Six
And tell me where my pants went
That's when I heard the door breaking
It wasn't housekeeping
It was her boyfriend

Don't know what came over me
Out the door in my boxer briefs
Some dude live tweeted
As I ran half-naked past a Cracker Barrel

Oh no - head meet floor
I don't wanna do this no more
Every kiss is a jam band solo
Never gonna say YOLO no mo'
My mind says no
My body says hell no!
Let this be over
Exhausting lover