Michael J. Fox was a household name
In 1985
And what about young Mallory
And all of the Family Ties?
I hear they all robbed liquor stores
And are in jail now for life

Kirk Cameron had Growing Pains
Sex symbol of the year
Problem solved so squeaky clean
In half an hour clear
I hear he's been washing dishes
For the last couple of years

Laughter tracks and '80s stars
Predictable jokes
I don't have to tell you what happened
To the kids from Diff'rent Strokes

Punky Brewster's 15 minutes
Lasted for years before it got old
You're never quite so cute
And I should know
Once puberty takes its toll

And no one knows their whereabouts
What they do or what they did
Chew 'em up and spit 'em out
Like all of the Cosby kids

It's the toughest game and the hardest time
It's the longest walk on the thinnest line
Its sad and true that they love then kill
Where do they go when they die?
To the big '80s sitcom in the sky
Michael J Fox was a household name
In 1985