You borrow my car, then you give it a test,
What the mario test?
Mario? mario’s a fucking psycho!

It’s 1986, i’m in the first grade,
I’m working really hard to get mario laid.
I got to save the princess so he can get the pussy,
Believe me, mario will get that ass so fuck luigi.
Mario really wants to get her in bed,
So bad that he’s up busting bricks with his head.
He just wants sex,
So forget the wedding bells.
Jumping on lil mushroom men and turtle shells.
Dropping down green pipes and secret passage ways,
Making his move to the end,
Where the final castle lays.
Eat a magic mushroom, grow a little higher,
Eat a white flower, and spit balls of fire.
All these creatures that attack won't cut mario slack.
Oh shit, hold on, i’ll be right back.

*plays the game*

I’m gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer,
It’s gotta be hard to get laid if you’re a plumber.
That’s why i’m gonna work extra hard for my man,
And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand.
Mario doesn’t wanna get hit, he’ll shrink,
The princess won't fuck a little kid… i think.
So stay grown and attend to you own,
And eventually the princess will attend to your bone.

Save the princess quick,
'cause she wants a dick.
If you set her free,
You get the pussy!

Save the princess quick,
'cause she loves a dick.
If you set her free,
You get the pussy!

Bowser’s trying to get head right now from the princess,
But if it’s up to me it’ll stop this instance.
Cloud people throwing spiked animals,
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals.
I hearn no body’s yet run in the princess’s oven,
And mario always says, “virgins, i love 'em!”
I hate the koopa troopers so i’m gonna run up,
And jump on the back of their shells til they get 1-up.
I’m gonna keep playing and i’m never gonna quit,
Because some kid at school told me you can see the princess’s tits.
I’m gonna beat it before any of my friends do,
So i can say i put pussy up on mario’s menu.
At the end of each level, i jump and get the flag,
And say to myself, "another castle in the bag."
I hope bowser’s ready cuz he’s in for a ride,
And mario's serious when it comes to homicide.
The princess is a freak even though she has class,
And mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass.
I hate the cannons, they shoot at you constantly,
And i hate platforms that fall out from below me.
It’s all worth while just to see mario smile,
Standing next to the princess, butt naked profile.
So that's why it's my crusade to get mario laid,
Super mario brothers, best game ever made.

Save the princess quick,
'cause she loves a dick.
If you let her free,
You get the pussy!

Save the princess quick,
'cause she loves a dick.
If you let her free,
You get the pussy!