[available at "Rock and Soul" in NYC]

[Chorus:]
I shoulda worn a rubber, before I went up in it
And then ya monkey ass won't be sittin in a clinic

[Big L]
Ayyo, one hot summer night after ballin hard
I went to the phone booth with my callin card
And called up Joel, yeah you know L
I told her come to the crib, yo mother fuck a hotel
She said she was gonna come at ten
The bitch came, but one problem, she brought a friend
You know I'm not a rude brother yo,
But I let Joel in and slammed the door on that other ho.
So we was sittin in the livin room kickin it
And all I thought about was stickin it
She was mean, cause you know I wouldn't fuck wit a sleazy ho
Yo we was coolin, watching some TV show
I was crackin sex jokes, tryin to get the pussy
And this bitch was kickin scripts beatin round the bush
Talkin bout rhyme for me L man fuck rhyming
Cause my dick, is hard enough to cut diamonds
I said, "I hope you ain't tryin to dick tease,
Ayyo, cause Big L's quick to tell a bitch leave."
Ayyo my game started fuckin wit her head soon
Next thing ya know we went straight to the bedroom
I knocked the boots from New York to Santa Fe
And that bitch burnt me like a gamma ray
I caught a cab, on 139 & Lenox
Ayyo, I took it to the neighborhood clinic
Because she gave me gonorrhea,
Yo, I'ma kill that bitch, the next time that I see her

[Chorus x2]

One afternoon I was cruising on the Westside
Bumpin my system, lounging back in a fresh ride
Hoes be hotter than a sauna
So I put the system on max, and bumped my shit on the corner
I saw this girl walkin by who was hype as hell
She was mad point-blank, she was right for L
But she tried to play me like a statue black
I said, "Sweeheart whats your name?"
"I gotta man," "I ain't ask you that."
She said in order to be with me you gotta be rich,
You won't be able to switch, I said, "Fuck you bitch."
Another girl walked by, I called her
"Excuse me what's your name" "Lorraine, what's yours"
Ayyo, game I kicked well,
I said honey my names Lamont, but I'm known as Big L
I was looking smooth with the jewelry
She said, "L's for Lamont, but what's the Big for?" "You'll see."
Ayyo, my pockets were extra thick,
"So what you doin later, oh nothing, then lets catch a flick."
Yeah, I bagged that ho well
Took her to the triple M, movies, meal, and motel.
And when it comes to this I'ma a professor
I didn't molest her I caressed her, undressed her then sexed her
But I must be getting older
Cause I didn't put a helmet on my mother fucking soldier
I started stickin up quick
And the next time I took a piss,
a motherfuckin flame shot out my dick

[Chorus x4]

[Big L & Lord Finesse talk until fade]