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​rainy day

Black Birdie

DEAR DIARY


Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
The little blackbird wants to play
Rain, rain go away

Locked up in a room; Trapped inside of my mind
The monster's here, I wanna leave, need to run and hide
I've been like this ever since the beginning of time
But I can't escape the in because it's raining outside
I'll crawl and cry all over the floor
Just to get to the corridor
Attempt to pry open the door
Escape from truth's what I want more
A monster under my bed, ‘fraid to look in its reflection
Just mirror image of my worst self worthy of rejection
The chaos ‘round me grows with each and every passing day
As we're forced to stay indoors ‘til global storm is kept at bay
I want to take a step out, see the butterflies and bees
But the monster's chained me to the wall so I can never leave

Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
The little blackbird wants to play
Rain, rain go away

Can't differ good from the evil
Can't differ day from the night
Can't tell who's real and who's fake
I can't tell what's wrong and what's right
Can't wait for my emancipation from my life's one devastation
Stuck inside a broken home where break does not mean a vacation
All of me's a mystery
My mind and heart lack synergy
Show my poker face
Write all my thoughts in my dear diary
I crave a quick relief
From all this endless pain and strife
I'll stay locked up, I'll show you all
By not taking my life
I'll prove to you I'm powerful, don't need a doctor, fuck a check-up
Always reminded of my dark past, wonder when these dark clouds gonna let up
My body's still intact but my soul has been dead for centuries
Am I your friend or just another heartless, shallow entity?

Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
The little blackbird wants to play
Rain, rain go away

I fill my brain with lies, put awful thoughts in my head
Keep wishing that eventually one day I'll be fucking dead
You'd be better off without me in your life and that's a fact
The stone-cold fact is I'm a burden and I'll have to live with that
Take a look at what I've become: a monster on the run
The damage is already done from taking many hits for years; this shit's not fun
L-L-Lost my relationships, gradual declines in my sanity
From being trapped in America's fakest picture-perfect family
“Smile, pose, smile, pose” picture-perfect, no one knows
Strong bonds and family ties, more like cover-ups and family lies
It's pointless to wish for change, it's pointless to run away
It's pointless to keep wishing for a hero to save the day
Rain, rain go away ‘cuz I wanna live another day
And stay like that forever more because it's these ones I live for
But no one will take someone overcrowded with so much pain
Am I overthinking or just fucking insane
My heart's a black hole
No amount of love you show
Could ever fill the endless void inside my soul
Like you would know
So just forget it, just forget me, leave me be
And if you don't, I'll count to three
Seconds for you to leave
To be alone, to be at peace (1, 2, 3)

Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
The little blackbird wants to play
Pain, pain go away

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