There ought to be a town out there,
Named for how I feel.
Yeah I could be the mayor down there,
And say welcome to Sorryville.
It won't be on a map nowhere,
You might say that it doesn't exist,
But if you make enough wrong turns
It'd be hard to miss.

There ought to be a bridge somewhere
They could dedicate to me.
I'd probably come to the ceremony
With a can of gasoline;
Walk on over to the other side
And there I'd light a match
And sit and stare through the smoke and the flames
Wonderin' how I'm ever gonna get back.

Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way? Am I a self-made fool?
I shoot the lights and curse the dark;
I need your love but I break your heart;
And I know the words that'll bring you back,
But I don't say nothin' as I watch you pack.
I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be;
It ain't easy bein' me.

Ought to be a side show act for freaks like me;
Yeah I could be the star of the show
With my name on the marquee.
In a room with a big red button that says \"Do Not Touch,\"
And twice a day I'd mash it down
And you could watch me self-destruct.

Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way? Am I a self-made fool?
I shoot the lights and curse the dark;
I need your love but I break your heart;
And I know the words that'll bring you back,
But I don't say nothin' as I watch you pack.
I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be;
It ain't easy bein' me.