Bob Schneider

Rock Star

Bob Schneider


I’m a big rock star
Check out my shoes
My girlfriends’ mighty purdy
And they always come in two’s
I’m a big rock star
I’m sure that you can tell
Because my hat’s too tight
Because my heads so swell

And it’s a good thing that I’m me
Otherwise I wouldn’t have a clue
It’s a good thing that I’m me
Cause if I wasn’t then I’d have to bust my butt
And get a job and that would suck and I’d be fucked
And that’s the truth

I’m a big rock star
The man of the year
My pants is all shiny
From people kissing my rear
I’m a big rock star
My albums number one
My dick ain’t all that heavy
But my wallet weighs a ton

And it’s a good thing that I’m me
Otherwise I wouldn’t have a clue
It’s a good thing that I’m me
Cause if I wasn’t then I’d have to bust my butt
And get a job and that would suck and I’d be fucked
And that’s the truth

I’m a big rock star
You know that I’m a freak
My hair’s a different color
Everyday of the week
I’m a big rock star
My crib’s super swanky
I’m cooler than a cold cut
And my shit ain’t even stanky

And it’s a good thing that I’m me
Otherwise I wouldn’t have a clue
It’s a good thing that I’m me
Cause if I wasn’t then I’d have to bust my butt
And get a job and that would suck and I’d be fucked
And that’s the truth

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