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The Headless Samurai Of Oatmogie, Oklahoma

Bob Schneider


The headless samurai of Oatmogie, Oklahoma
He's a crazy mother fucker who just woke from a coma
He's screaming and he's dreaming and he just can't get to bed
He's a man on a mission yeah he's got to get a head

But his head's in Pasadena in a pipe shop in the mall
And his skin has been removed and he has no brain's at all
His head's a candleholder on sale for twenty bucks
And there's a goofy kid named Freddy and he couldn't give a fuck

That the headless samurai of Oatmogie, Oklahoma
A crazy mother fucker whose heart has turned to stonea
He's crazy and obsessed and his pencil's full of lead
He's a man on a mission yeah he's got to get a head

But his head's in Freddy's living room on his fucked up TV set
He's smoking dope out of a coke can and he's lighting up a cigarette
He's checking out his purchase with its bony toothy grin
]and he swears that candleholders staring back at him

And he's getting a little freak out but he says its just the pot
So he blows it off and goes to bed after smoking quite a lot
And sometime in the morning maybe three thirty of four
He hears a loud noise on his patio and then someone's at the door

It's the headless samurai of Oatmogie, Oklahoma
And now that crazy mother fuckers come to get just what he wantsa
He's screaming and he's woken freaked out Freddy from his bed
Cause he's a man on a mission he's just got to get ahead

So Freddy's pretty paranoid but invites the stranger in
Even though it's getting late and he doesn't have a head
But the samurai sees his barren skull and he screams that fuckers mine
And Freddy says easy homie you can have just unwind

I see you've lost your head I’ve done the same it's no big deal
Just smoke this crazy north slope trip weed and then see how you feel
He did and felt much better and they chilled and drank some wine
And they talked about the future and they listened to some tunes

And that's how the headless samurai from Oatmogie, Oklahoma
Got his head back even though its just a big old hairless bone ah
He's laughing and he's chilling and he's higher than a kite
And he doesn't have to get a head and everything allright

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