A ping-pong on a table bouncing
That's exactly how I'm feeling
I'm tired of staring at the floor
'Cos you've been staring at the ceiling

If there is no laughter in heaven
Then I don't want to go
I don't want to go

There's nothing quite as funny-sad
As Christmas Day a launderette
But I'll be fine, I'll be OK
My paper hat, dream cigarette

If there is no laughter in heaven
Then I don't want to go
I don't want to go

I saw the thing I fear the most
Outside the Baptist Hospital
Halfway between a bum and ghost
My future is indelible

If there is no laughter in heaven
Then I don't want to go
I don't want to go

If there is no laughter in heaven
Then I don't want to go
I don't want to go