Girl, I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can't, wanted to be your man back then
And you knew I fell for you but you
Just broke my heart in two
I was sad, mad, and broken on my bed
Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head

I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med
When I was met with a prescription
of a bullet made of lead
And when I woke up in an hour
in a pool of my own sweat
I said
"I swear to God I'll never even try to sleep again"
So instead I took my pen
and started writing evidence
And whеn I started making sense
I found that I had rеached the end
Oh, I'm upset, I have no friends
You wanna bet you're just pretend?
You're just a pet
confined within the lines of writing
You're not shit
I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways
I swear I did
I said I talked to people
'bout the problematic life I lived
They were my neighbors, razor blades
And different flavored pills I hate
Therefore I'm not sure, leave my last straw
I'm so glad, stuck in the past, I said that

Girl, I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can't, wanted to be your man back then
And so far I never held you with my arms
So it's hard to be the one you aren't
With instead filled with anxiety
Always was a part of me
guess I'm not cut out to be

Somebody 'cause it's not me
I'm not used to all the talk, it was an introvert
That had converted feelings into writing
Used to cope with all my problems
Using notes and lots of rhyming
Used to hope for better days
whenever nights would have me crying
I'm not lying when I say
that I would rather daily go back
To the times I would try be the guy the people know
I was fighting with the demons hiding
far beyond my eyelids
On an island full of violence in my head
that I could pilot
Oh, the sun don't shine, the skies turn gray
I felt it coursing through my veins
I said before I'm not okay
But you don't listen anyway
You know I tried, you turned away
You straight up lied right to my face
You fucked my life, ruined my day
But you don't know, so I'll say

Nothing can fill this silence
no one can love like I did
(You don't know, so I'll say)
Nobody cares, you lied, it's no fair
you still deny it
(So I'll say)
Nothing can fill this silence
no one can love like I did
(You don't know, so I'll say)
Nobody cares, you lied, it's no fair, you still deny it
(So I'll say)

Girl, I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can't, wanted to be your man back then
And too bad I know I can't wake up
Because I lost my weight and you don't give a fuck
About me, this could be a dream, I can't see
The things that you see, so please, oh
Girl, I hope you understand
I wanted to hold your hand
But I can't, wanted to be your man back then
And you know I'll play along
You were my home, I wrote you songs
And now you're dead to me effectively
Removed yourself outside my dreams