Standing by the tour bus behind the area,
screaming my name 'til she was sure I'd seen her,
I signed a picture and I shook her hand
That's when she said "I'm your biggest fan".
She pulled a can of mace,
and sprayed me in my face
I fell on my head, hit the pavement
I woke up in her basement

Somebody save me from this crazy bitch
She's gonna kill me if she gets her wish
She's got a Tyra Banksish crazy look
If I escape I'm gonna sue Facebook

With tape on my mouth and rope around my hands
She went into details about our wedding plans
Photoshopped pictures of her and me,
covered the walls and I began to pee
Shots of us at the prom,
me with her dad and mom (dad and mom)
She's gonna hobble me like Kathy Bates in Misery

Somebody save me from this crazy bitch (crazy bitch)
She stuffed her dog so she could make him sin

I've often thought of ways that I might die (I might die)
But taxidermy never crossed my mind

I'm barely a celebrity
There's more deserving guys than me
Like Kanye West and lots of others
Who would miss the Jonas Brothers?

Somebody save me from this crazy bitch
As a star you know I'm just B-list
There are guys out there who won't resist
Charlie Sheen would be all over this

Somebody save me from this crazy bitch (crazy bitch)
I barely even wanna kiss her lips
She's making love to me two times a day (times a day)
Maybe next week I'll try to get away

Somebody save me (somebody save me)
Somebody save me (somebody save me)
Somebody save me from this crazy, crazy bitch

Somebody save me, somebody save me
Somebody save me from this crazy, crazy bitch