Here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad,
Of Lily the Pink and her medicinal compound,
And how it slowly drove her to the bad.

Meet Ebenezer, thought he was Julius Caesar.
So they put him in a home.
And then they gave him medicinal compound,
And now he's Emporer of Rome.

We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the pink the pink the pink
The savior of [the savior of] the human race.
She invented medicinal compound.
Most efficacious in every case.

Meet Johnny Hammer had a t-t-terrible s-s-stammer.
He could b-barely say a word.
So they gave him medicinal compound,
And now he's seen, but never heard.

And Freddie Clinger, the opera singer,
Who could break glasses with his voice they said.
So on his tonsils he rubbed medicinal compound,
And now they break glasses over his head.

And Mr. Frears, who had sticky out ears.
And it made him awful shy.
So they gave him medicinal compound,
And now he's learning how to fly.

And Uncle Paul, he was very small. He
Was the shortest man in town.
So on his body he rubbed medicinal compound,
And now he's six foot, but it's underground.

Lily died and went up to heaven.
Oh, the church bells they did ring.
She took with her medicinal compound.
Hark the herald angels sing.