AHHHH...The Lord is a monkey Thanksgiving's coming on the Fourth of July In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass Outside of Phenix she was kinda broke down Burned a cracker-boy rig and she was out of that town. HA HA HA HAA Well she was a hairy creature in the ashwam bed She was sellin' more skies had a funky-ass head Well she played with my mouth and she threw me on the bed And she cut off my balls and she sewed em to my head Well she's headin' back east in a 67 Caddy Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy Well I met her on the street where she beat me like a fool Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school Well I really did good but it's kickin' my ass I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass Well she's looking pretty good first week in July She's got a dope up her ass and a needle in her eye Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass