We're a couple of swells
We stop at the best hotels
But we prefer the country far away from the city smells
We're a couple of sports
The pride of the tennis courts
In June, July and August we look cute when we're dressed in shorts
The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea
We don't know how to get there, no siree
No, siree

We would drive up the Avenue, but we haven't got the price
We would skate up the Avenue, but there isn't any ice
We would ride on a bicycle, but we haven't got a bike
So we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
And to walk up the Avenue's what we like

Wall Street bankers are we
With plenty of currency
We'd open up the safe but we forgot where we put the key
We're the favorite lads
Of girls in the picture ads
We'd like to tell you who we kissed last night but we can't be cads
The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club
But how are we to get there, that's the rub
That's the rub

We would sail up the Avenue, but we haven't got a yacht
We would drive up the Avenue, but the horse we had was shot
We would ride on a trolley car but we haven't got the fare
So we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue till we're there

We would swim up the Avenue but we haven't any lake
So we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
Yes, a walk up the Avenue's what we'll take