[1st verse:]
As a child I went wild when a band played
How I ran to the man when his hand swayed
Clarinets were my pets, and a slide trombone I thought was simply divine
But today when they play I could hiss them
Ev'ry bar is a jar to my system
But there's one musical instrument that I call mine

[Refrain:]
I love a piano, I love a piano
I love to hear somebody play
Upon a piano, a grand piano
It simply carries me away

I know a fine way to treat a Steinway
I love to run my fingers o'er the keys, the ivories

And with the pedal I love to meddle
When Padarewski comes this way
I'm so delighted if I'm invited
To hear that long haired genius play

So you can keep your fiddle and your bow
Give me a P-I-A-N-O, oh, oh
I love to stop right beside an upright
Or a high toned Baby Grand

[2nd verse:]
When a green Tetrazine starts to warble
I grow cold as an old piece of marble
I allude to the crude little party singer who don't know when to pause
At her best I detest the soprano
But I run to the one at the piano
I always love the accomp'niment and that's because

[Alternate lines:]
Not only music from Broadway
I'm so delighted if I'm invited
To hear a long haired genius play