I had a thought from the dark pits of hell
I can't tell
If I want it, if I want something else
Hard to tell
Everytime I try to fight with myself
I'm defeat

I'm realizing everything that I lack
It's a fact
I have a tendency to stick to the past
While it lasts
I got this growing pains from growing too fast
Still I'm weak

I can't decide if I wanted the truth
Has no use
I'm getting closer to my last days of youth
Crack my tooth
I'm still a slave of the fate that I choose
Hard to fix

I had a feeling I was gonna get far
Credit cards
Only became more reasons to hit the bars
Lower bars
And all the fancy tricks to maintain the farse
Watch your six

I have resentments that are starting to fest
I confess
I cursed my family in dishonest jest
Dropped the mask
Those are the symptoms of turning fatherless
I repeat

And now I'm searching for something to lose
I can't choose
Nothing gets closer to those last days abuses
Bad excuse
I knew the anger was too close to defuse
Like a jinx