It's christmas
Geez, christmas is terrible

I'm never, ever, ever, gonna get it together
Dad don't give a shit
And my sisters say whatever
All good, I'm cool
My mom threw the thief in the inground pool
Somebody something cause I'm underage drinking
It's easy sneaking liquor when they're cooking in the kitchen
Woke up, tree sap
Got the garbage can lid for a ghetto sleigh ride

And this could be
(Gingerbread tastes like jäger)
The worst christmas ever
(Bitch you don't know a sled)

Everything is better in my ugly christmas sweater
Don't care what santa brings won't send him a letter
Make a list and check it twice, it won't make it better
Everything is better in my ugly christmas sweater

My entire family's on the morning flight to paris
Night before they punished me and sent me to the attic
(Go to your room!)
Woke up, rolled out
Mum forgot about me on the plane and freaked out
(Courtney!)
Two guys tried to break into my house but I was smarter
Set a bunch of traps, set a guy on fire
Yeah I, nearly died
Mum had to ask john candy for a ride

Wait a second, that sounds really familiar
No, no, thats my family christmas, thats what happened
Do they even have christmas in australia?
No

Everything is better in my ugly christmas sweater
Don't care what santa brings won't send him a letter
Make a list and check it twice, it won't make it better
Everything is better in my ugly christmas sweater

So, there is this one year
And it was christmas
And my brother got karate patches
And I really wanted to get karate patches
So I thought I was gonna get karate patches
And then I didn't get karate patches

Everything is better in mt ugly christmas sweater
Don't care what santa brings won't send him a letter
Everything is better in my ugly christmas sweater
Don't care what santa brings won't send him a letter
Make a list and check it twice, it won't make it better
Everything is better in my ugly christmas sweater

Okay Courtney here's the part where you sing like mariah carey, go, go
No I'm not doing it this year everybody made fun of me last year, you do it
Fine I'll do it okay, ready

Why didn't you tell me you could sing like that?
Happy birthday, hanukkah!