Boy number one made a picnic for two
Saw he was nervous, I thought it was cute
Until I found out that his mom made the food
It was good though
Boy number two had a beautiful face
I highly agreed to go back to his place
His wife really had some impeccable taste
She was sweet though

I've been on this ride
This rollercoaster's a carousel
And I'm getting nowhere

Boys around the world, I want to believe that
When you chase a girl
It's not just huntin' season
I can see the future, say it like you mean it
"I've got a beach house in Malibu
And I'm probably gonna hurt your feelings"
"I'm probably gonna hurt your feelings"
"I'm probably gonna hurt you"

Boy number twelve had a look in his eyes
Brought up his ex and he started to cry
Told me he loved me the very first night
Oh, no
Who knows what I'm in for with
Boy number I-can't-keep-count-anymore?

I've been on this ride
This rollercoaster's a carousel
And I'm getting nowhere

Boys around the world, I want to believe that
When you chase a girl
It's not just huntin' season
I can see the future, say it like you mean it
"I've got a beach house in Malibu
And I'm probably gonna hurt your feelings"

I'm probably gonna hurt you
Got a weekend in paradise
And I'm probably gonna never call you
I'm probably gonna hurt you
I got big plans to take care of you
I just need to borrow ten thousand dollars
I'm probably gonna hurt you
I got a lake house in Canada
And I'm probably gonna harvest your organs
I'm probably gonna hurt you
I've got a beach house in Malibu
And I'm probably gonna hurt your feelings

Boys around the world, I want to believe that
When you chase a girl
It's not just huntin' season
I can see the future, say it like you mean it
"I've got a beach house in Malibu
And I'm probably gonna hurt your feelings"