[Tommy:] What did I do wrong?
[Cerys:] Oh you nearly drove me cuckoo
[Tommy:] Am I really all that bad?
[Cerys:] You're worse than Hannibal Lecter, Charlie Manson, Freddy
Krueger
[Tommy:] Why are we still together?
[Cerys:] Oh I can't leave you till you're dead F
[Tommy:] You mean till death do us part
[Cerys:] I mean like cyanide, strangulation or an axe to your head
[Tommy:] It was lucky for us I turned the radio on
[Cerys:] They say that music soothes the savage
[Tommy:] There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red
[Both]: The two of us would surely have ended up dead
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)

You'll never know but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
[Cerys:] I've never thrown my knickers at you
[Tommy:] And I don't come from Wales
[Tommy:] Still haven't solved our problem
[Cerys:] You mean we hate each other's guts
[Tommy:] Still wanna poison your
[Cerys:] And I still wanna cut off your
[Tommy:] I phoned the marriage guidance
[Cerys:] I tied the phone line round your
[Tommy:] I'm sick of all this hatred
[Cerys:] Well that'll be the arsenic making you sick