Hey!
Time to get up, will you hand me my slippers?
And I'll take my orange juice in a brandy snifter
I'm a great lover and a better listener
Huh? What? Did you say somethin'?
Were you talking to me?
All I see is used condom wrappers on the floor
Tricks' numbers on post-its by the door
I'll only call back if I want some more
And that's the life I live when I'm not on tour

You knew I was the new Don Juan when you saw me
And you smelled the co-log-ne I just sprayed on me
And I know I'm nice
Santa don't have to check his list twice
Here's some advice don't share your keys
Or you might end up with Hepatitis B
Buy my Cd, mind your Q's and P's
And always say "Cheese" for the paparazzis

See I don't really care what people think
And I don't really care what people do
See you don't know me and I don't know you
And what? And what? And what? And what?
When I hopped the train I always take the seat
I don't remember the names of the people I meet
I don't need a car because I got two feet
And I buy my socks on 14th Street

Why's everybody always looking at me?
Is it coz' I jerk off for my webcam for free?
Coz' I'm picking my nose when I'm thinking somethin'
And pullin' the lint out my belly button?
(Hey!) I came from Massachusetts
and I don't give two shits
Watch me pop two zits in your grits
I got enthusiasm of a muscle spasm
And I'm gonna show my magic
wism-rasm-ma-tasm-and-chizasm

Yeah, I'm truckin' fast
Sweating like my ass crack in yoga class
So pass that dutch, I wanna get fucked up
Until the sun goes down and comes back up
Then goes back down and comes back up
Then down, then down, then down, and up!
Have you had enough or do you want some more?
I put my Adidas Magnums on and I'm out the door

See I don't really care what people think
And I don't really care what people do
See you don't know me and I don't know you
And what? And what? And what? And what?
When I hopped the train I always take the seat
I don't remember the names of the people I meet
I don't need a car because I got two feet
And I buy my socks on 14th Street

So I'm on 14th Street, right?
And my look head to toe is tight
Til I hit the highway on the west end
I bumped into one of my shady friend
His name is Jake from way upstate
He wants to know if I'll take some Peruvian flakes
He said "Make it hot, take a ride in my car! "
I said 'Let me think about that for about 8 bars'

"No I don't think so, I gotta buy some socks though
I'll party tonight when the mood is right
Just get the hood and don't be a hater
I'll be out tonight", "Alright, catch you later"

See I don't really care what people think
And I don't really care what people do
See you don't know me and I don't know you
And what? And what? And what? And what?
When I hopped the train I always take the seat
I don't remember the names of the people I meet
I don't need a car because I got two feet
And I buy my socks on 14th Street