Well now Bubba and the boys at the uptown bar
They got a little too drunk went a little too far
They were out four wheeling round town till the crack of dawn
And then the sheriff came and threw them in the calaboose
And he said he wasn't gonna turn them loose
Just somebody paid for the damage to the courthouse lawn

Well he got paid Friday and it ain't no joke
He woke up this morning hungover and broke
He's been out all night and he's afraid to face his wife
His clothes are dirty and his eyes are red
He's got a great big knot on the side of his head
Oh the joys of living the honky tonk life

Well you honky tonk women and you honky tonk men
Honky tonk life's gonna do you in
Ain't nothin' cool about sittin' on a bar stool higher than a Chinese kite
You're just a pop top poppa with a one track mind
You're gonna pass out before it's closin' time
Just another darn fool drowning in the neon lights every night
I said oh the joys of living the honky tonk life

Ole Johnny was a happily married man
Till he started hanging out at the Dew Drop Inn
Met a peroxide floozie by the name of Sally Ann
Then almost every morning he was late for work
Then his wife found some lipstick stain on his shirt
And that's about the time that the stuff started hittin' the fan

And then the next thing he knew he was asittin' in court
About some alimony and some child support
And he lost his driver's license for a DWI
And now his clothes are ragged and he don't look well
He's living downtown in a cheap hotel
On the joys of living the honky tonk life

Well you honky tonk women and you honky tonk men...