The other night after a show
a woman came into my dressing room and she said
"Charlie, a lot of the jokes you tell
are shallow and insensitive"
Insensitive? And it... It got me thinking
How the hell did that one-legged fat bitch
get her wheelchair up the stairs to my dressing room?

I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin

You're catching flies with honey, but I'm sick of being nice
(?) , but I don't wanna be polite
So listen to me princess, gonna give it to you rough
But hasn't Mother Nature, insulted you enough?

I'd like to start a fire, then add some gasoline
It costs nothing to be nice, I'd rather be broke and mean
I don't pull my punches, (?)
I don't like sugar coating, 'cause it causes diabetes

I'll never be Pc and I can't lipsync
Don't listen to critics, don't care what they think
I know that you say that my attitude sucks
But last time I looked I was all outta fucks

(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch as long
as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch as long
as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch as long
as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch as long
as you think I'm thin

Lying's overrated, and so is being kind
So grab a bowl of popcorn, gotta say what's on my mind
You tell more lies than Trump, your career
has kicked the bucket
You've had more hands inside you
than Miss Piggy and the Muppets

I'll slap you like a real housewife
throw champagne in your face
Then lick it off your chin
because it shouldn't go to waste
I'll say what you're all thinking
I'll offend whoever I choose
And if they get upset, not gonna blame it on the booze
I know that you say that my attitude sucks
But last time I looked I was all outta fucks

(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin

I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin

And if you don't like what I'm saying out loud
You should hear what I think when I look at this crowd
I know that you say I am terribly blunt
You probably think I am just a rude

(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(She's a bitch, and she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin
(What a bitch, but she's thin)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch as long
as you think I'm thin
(Oh yeah!)
I don't care if you think I'm a bitch
as long as you think I'm thin