Coffee from the bank, Fritos isn't free
I only want to be with other people like me
Advil, Tylenol, there is no relief
I only want to be with other people like me

Let's just assume for the sake of argument
That Chapstick causes chapped lips
And sunscreen causes sunburns
And music causes hearing loss
And bottled water makes you thirsty
And I am just a cat watching another cat on TV

I lit a match
I threw it in the trash
I tossed it all in the dumpster
The dumpster fire got bigger
Now we need a bigger dumpster
And a book of matches
Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

I caught a cold
I coughed on all my friends
Now everyone is coughing
On everybody else
And we're coughing on our doctors
And our doctors cough out
"Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine"
I crossed the street
Against the light
It backed up all the traffic
The drivers start to get out
And confront me in the intersection
They are screaming
"Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine"

Doing improv, coffee, juice or tea?
I only want to be with other people like me
Seal Team 6 is here, sage-ing everything
I only want to be with other people like me

Let's just assume, for the sake of argument
That Chapstick causes chapped lips
And sunscreen causes sunburns
And music causes hearing loss
And bottled water makes you thirsty
And I am just a dog watching another dog on TV

I lit a match
I threw it in the trash
I tossed it all in the dumpster
The dumpster fire got bigger
Now we need a bigger dumpster
And a book of matches
Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

I caught a cold
I coughed on all my friends
Now everyone is coughing
On everybody else
And we're coughing on our doctors
And our doctors cough out
"Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine"
I crossed the street
Against the light
It backed up all the traffic
The drivers start to get out
And confront me in the intersection
They are screaming
"Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine"

Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

I lit a match
I threw it in the trash
I tossed it all in the dumpster
The dumpster fire got bigger
Now we need a bigger dumpster
And a book of matches

I caught a cold
I coughed on all my friends
Now everyone is coughing
On everybody else
And we're coughing on our doctors
And our doctors cough out
"Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine"
I crossed the street
Against the light
It backed up all the traffic
The drivers start to get out
And confront me in the intersection
They are screaming
"Everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is—"