[Intro]
Ugh
It's already Christmas time again
Oh, man
My parents just don't understand

[Verse 1]
I want a Girl Talk, but they got me a Jenga
Wanted Nintendo, but they got me a Sega
I opened that envelope, and what the heck?
Grandma just gave me a $5 check (Ugh!)

[Chorus] (x2)
Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Wanna bet me? I'll bet you a million bucks
Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Don't mess with me, I don't give a dang

[Verse 2]
Trucks, and trains, and tinker toys
I don't want that junk, that stuff's for boys
Barbie dolls, Barbie dolls
All I ever ever wanted was Barbie dolls
Skipper, Tracy, Christy, Stacy
Feeling so Shameless like William H. Macy
I might be snails and puppy dog tails
But, I like big hair, and I like long nails (Yeah!)

[Chorus] (x2)
Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Wanna bet me? I'll bet you a million bucks
Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks
Don't mess with me, I don't give a dang

[Bridge]
Oh, my goodness
What is that glowing heavenly light over there
descending from the snow-filled sky?
It's me, Alaska, The Ghost of Christmas Presents
And I'm here to tell you a little something
about your situation, sweetheart
Girl, why you complaining?
You're not in India starving
It's not like you don't have nothing
You're so dang spoiled, it's alarming
You got some parents that love you
a brother that bugs you
So lucky that you got a rooftop above you
Christmas is cool, so get into it
You get what you get and you don't throw a fit

[Chorus (Variation) ]
Christmas rocks! Christmas rocks!
Look, I just got a pair of tube socks!
Christmas rocks! Christmas rocks!
I can even make a fort out of the box!
Christmas rocks! Christmas rocks!
You wanna bet me? I'll bet you a million bucks
Thank you mom and dad, I can't really be sad
Cause after all, Christmas isn't really so bad