[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Hahaha, well that was real nice!
The only thing bigger than your talent is your adam's apple

[Jiggly Caliente]
Thank you?

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Oh! And your hands
Those are... some big lady hands

[Jiggly Caliente]
Excuse me?

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Truth is we don't get much good entertainment up in this parts

[Manila Luzon]
I'm going to guess that you don't get much deodorant or mouthwash either... oh and in case you missed it I just read you for filth
Snap! Gag! Hum! Take that!

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Oh, by the way, here's what the new transmission's gonna cost you girls

[Alaska Thunderfuck]
What! Oh my God! That's too expensive

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Oh, and in case y'all missed it I just [?]
Snap!

[Jiggly Caliente]
How the hell are we going to pay for this?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]
I could make the ultimate sacrifice
And sell my body on that street corner over there

[Alaska Thunderfuck]
Great, that should make us enough for... one spark plug

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Hey hey hey hey now, I have an idea

[Manila Luzon]
Build a wall?

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
No, no
I was just thinking

[Alaska Thunderfuck]
That Ellen Degeneres just hasn't met the right man yet

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
No
What I'm trying to say is
I'm pretty sure

[Katya Zamolodchikova]
The Earth is flat?

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
No!
Now listen to me
I'm pretty sure that if you gals put on a show
You can make more than enough money
To fix your little bus, like I said
Ain't every day a bunch of classy
Big city, show ponies like y'all
Can ride into town
I bet folks pay good money to come see you too

[Jiggly Caliente]
That's a great idea
But, how can we let everyone in town know
About the show on such short notice?

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Oh hell, that's easy
Hey everybody!
Come here, this big bone floozies wearing way too much makeup
Gonna put on a show tonight

[Alaska Thunderfuck]
Well, I could've done that
I have very strong lungs
As a matter of fact
Maybe I should give this folks a little free sample
Of what they can expect at that show tonight

[Manila Luzon]
Free sample? Great idea!
After all, you are the Costco of drag queens

[Katya Zamolodchikova]
I can't believe I'm about to say this but yes
I think you should sing a song
The rest of us can run round selling tickets while you belt out your number
And if I just happen to accidentally fall face first down the overalls
of a big dumb corn-fed farmboy then so be it!
Uhm, did I say that out loud?

[All]
Ah, wow
Actually, yes
Yeah
Pretty much
Wow
Yep
Tmi
MM-hmm
Uh

[Bob the Drag Queen as Billy Bob]
Hey everybody get a load of this!