It was the night before christmas And all through the whore house Every vixen was twerking and stripping to deadmau5 The nylons were hung just afraid to stare In hopes that saint nicklaus would enjoy an affair The boys were nestled, tied up to their beds As visions leather were teasing their heads Whilst I sit in my creche for pound daddy's cache We settled on nothing as nowhere to safe When up on the roof there rode such a clatter I set down my flocker to see what was the matter But what tonight wondering I did appear But a red bottom slayand a red-nosed reindeer With a handsome old driver with harness and hand Saint nicklaus arrived for his one-night stand He was a little shattered and called me by name As christmas eve nears he knows I'm the dame He flew down my chimney with presents and *toe* And a sackfull of toys for all the hoe hoe hoes I laughed when I saw him despite of myself It was just him and I, and that elf on the shelf In a wink of his eye and a twist of his beard He soon gave me the sign that he came to get weird He came for the eggnog and stayed for my cookies And stuffed all my stockings when I wasn't looking His *marah middle named* as he sprained to his slay His belly sas he flew up up and away But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight "merry christmas to all, and to All a goodnight. "