Every Friday night I go to bubba's hardware store
and give the secret knock on the private stockroom door
good ol' boys are shootin craps playin' five card stud
hot lookin' women
ice cold suds
this blonde was playin' poker
she was on a roll
I sat down beside her with my ace in the hole
I had to draw a jack to win
with a stright ace high
but win I drew that card
I kissed that pot goodbye

cause Im one jack off
here in my hand
I got an ace, a king, a queen, and a ten and
now Im in a jam
I was doin' fine till I pulled that nine
thats win I went soft
I was temptin fate with an ace high stright
but Im one jack off

Ive played with this deck so long its messin' with my mind
Ive heard it said to much of this it can make a man go blind
I can't let her beat me but I aint got a prayer
Im sure shes got a real good hand
I see shes got a pair
I stared accross the table
hopin' that she calls
then when she raised me
well I dang near lost it all
I tried to pull it out figurin' Id bluff
but win I showed her what I had
she said to bad your one jack off

Im just one jack off
aint that great
she said nice try but nine, ten, queen, king, ace dont make a stright
I said how about another round
she said adie up there hoss
she took all my money
and Im still one jack off

Im one jack off
just my luck
she won my favorite pair of cowboy boots
and the pink slip to my truck
I knew Id have to come again next week
to get back what I lost
thats the story of my life
its seems Im always one jack off

thats right

one jack off