Baby iron cross my heart
You know I hope to die
If I ain't off the chart
From your normal average guy
Like some mad nitro meth
Kinda psychopath
I gotta laugh at death's
Meanass deadly wrath

Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock'n'roll emergency
Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock'n'roll M.D.

They call me Dr. Fucker
You might feel a little pinch
It's a diesel mothertrucker
Solid gold lead pipe cinch
Eyes as green as gooseshit
Squirtin' acid from my tongue
I run with all the whozits
And my mainspring's done been sprung

Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock'n'roll emergency
Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock'n'roll M.D.

Nitro-methane brainbats
Got their fangs in my vein
But medicine for acrobats
Alleviates the pain
Got to oversize sparkplugs
And a gover-mental warning
Take two weeks worth of drugs
And call me in the morning

Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock'n'roll emergency
Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock'n'roll M.D.