i get drunk and i stumble to the phone.
and conjure up a bitch to bone
when i'm alone.
fucked up, tore back.
i need to take a piss.
only when i'm drunk,
i sing a song like this.
my grandma and your grandma...
...sittin by the fire.
hold on, turn that beat off.
na, keep it going.
crazy town, yo y'all just not knowin'.
i get drunk and start talking more shit.
and when i got a gun in my hand,
you better get...
...out 'cause my brain
just ain't what it used to be.
forget trying to rationalize,
cover your eyes.
i get...(uh!)...damn i'm drunk
i need a chunk. no better yet.
a hunk of that funk.
i get...(uh!)...damn i'm drunk
i need a chunk. no better yet.
a hunk of that funk.
yeah, i'm good, bad, dope.
i'm freaky fresh.
i make hip-hop fans say "yes, yes".
crazy's comin' thru.
you know we're gonna blow up.
hold up. wait.
i think i'm gonna throw up.
na, false alarm.
i'm getting all the ladies with my cool charm.
when i get drunk,
i might even call my daddy a punk.
yeah, but only when i'm drunk.

CHORUS:
yeah, only when i'm drunk.
only when i'm drunk.
yeah, only when i'm drunk.
it happens only when i'm drunk.
it goes, one for the chronic.
two for the amnesia.
i'm that crazy white boy
with the drinks in the freezer.
bust a one out, two out.
blitz type of rapper
that will get out of your seat
quicker than a car jocker.
sippin' colt forty fever
when i'm coolin' with my people.
got hos in east columbus.
like i'm Billy D. Rico.
'cause i move like i'm smooth.
like i'm harry belafonte.
lookin' for them suckers
that jumped my homey. Le Le.
all up in this bitch
with the gin and tonqueray.
drink like Mr. Wendal.
smoke bud like Dr. Dre.
but that's 'cause i'm old enough
to do that type of shit.
god damn. i gotta piss.
i pass the mic to Mr. Shift.
i get drunk and can't nobody
whoop me.
i'm trippin'
it must be that brew that that i was sippin'
kickin' in.
guess i shouldn't have mixed it with the gin.
'cause when i'm laying on my back,
i can feel the room spin.
one too many, i rekon.
feelin' i got to hurl any second.
want to get up but can't move.
feels like i'm stuck in a groove.
what the fuck was i trying to prove.
i got a knack for downin' four-o's.
all the hos know them doobie bros.
people call me shift
i keep a fifth in my trunk.
i might fuck an ugly bitch,
but only when i'm drunk.

CHORUS
yeah, one two, one two.
only when i'm drunk.