then I looked into her young eyes from eighty years she looks back into my young eyes and she is gone to where? where has her soul gone? body found yes but her very mark her sign lost it seems to me now though I feel that she is here still all around me windsouled to love is always to live somehow as long as our eyes are still this colourdull glass I will not now know her still this parched scorched earth endless wheel of suffering great ocean of pain bloodbucket of grief roaring mouthgaped ooooh of disappointment and despair will not then exist and we shall smile we shall smile as big as the big crescent moon which lies on its arched back and dreams of cats and stars and snow and as before we saw smiley shining stars and disreaching them our arms would wave like a desperate windmill hoping hoping to welcome them home now we shall touch them close to our hearts and what we are and what we may be maybe why I have failed? and all I could have been and am not and all I had hoped for and were not and everything I hoped and hoped and hoped and hoped for I prayed in the morning and I prayed in the evening and I got not from the rotgut God when all the world starts to shiver and shimmer and shake all around me and all the worldlight was piecemeal and peaceless this is the atomic pain of the world the molecular tears the final crystalline structure of misery that wind its way around the wooden snakejawed growing spine of the worlds, listen; I was taken to be betrayed whenever is hate to be betrayed wherever is hate as the body is abused by man there in the patrapassion egde of the world the hanging God is invaded in heart and soul I suffer you all suffer you suffer all I suffer suffer suffer suffer the tearblowing world creaks around and we are broken loss loss light an darkness light and darkness it seems to the little blue and green world that they do not know each other but they must finally the Master says that Satan too shall be forgiven forgiven and suffering before we suffer too here`s sixpence here`s sixpence go and play and play in the flaky pale fields that still are somehow this land and spend oh spend your life away spend your spend your night away and waste and waste your life away under the bright starlight under your yewboned archlight body you are dead under this shitstained sky you are dead under the loveless muddy almoststars you are dead under the sleeping closed eyes of the bhagavan you are dead under the road and the track and the path along the green grass slipping away along the snaking way you are deady deady deady deady dead goodnight the lights are dead and so are you the light is dead and so are you