The room is hot and the pool is cold
The TV ain't got HBO
And the water pressure's always low
And the minibar is empty
And good luck gettin' a good night's sleep
Right between the honeymoon suite
And the 1980's vending machine
Where all they sell is Pepsi

So if your friends ask where to send your mail

There's a special place in Hell
A zero-star hotel
Don't worry 'bout your stay
'Cause I've already paid
There's a special place in Hell for you

It ain't like you got a soul to sell
So save your prayers for someone else
The concierge won't be no help
He's always on vacation

I don't hate you, but I sure don't wish you well

There's a special place in Hell
A zero-star hotel
Don't worry 'bout your stay
'Cause I've already paid
There's a special place in Hell for you

All the heat you put me through
Could never hold a candle to
The room that they got held for you
That special place in Hell for you

There's a bad-lit bathroom mirror
Take a long look at yourself

There's a special place in Hell
A zero-star hotel
Don't worry 'bout your stay
'Cause I've already paid
Yeah, there's a special place in Hell for you

All the heat you put me through
Could never hold a candle to
The room that they got held for you
That special place in Hell for you