I flew United Airlines
On my way to Nebraska
The plane departed Halifax
Connecting in Chicago’s O’Hare.

While on the ground the passenger
Said from the seat behind me,
“My God, they’re throwing guitars out there!”

The Band and I exchanged a look
Best described as terror,
At the action on the tarmac
And knowing whose projectiles
These would be.

So before I left Chicago,
I alerted three employees,
Who showed complete indifference towards me.

United, United,
You broke my Taylor Guitar.
United, United,
Some big help you are.

You broke it, you should fix it.
You’re liable, just admit it.
I should have flown with someone else
Or gone by car,
Cuz United Breaks Guitars.

When we landed in Nebraska,
I confirmed what I’d suspected:
My Taylor’d been the victim
Of a vicious act of malice at O’Hare.

And so began a year-long saga
Of pass the buck, “Don’t ask me,”
And “I’m sorry sir, your claim can go nowhere.”

So to all the Airline’s people
From New York to New Delhi,
Including kind Miss Irlweg
Who says the final word from them is “No.”

I’ve heard all your excuses
And I’ve chased your wild gooses,
And this attitude of yours I say must go.

United, United,
You broke my Taylor Guitar.
United, United,
Some big help you are.

You broke it, you should fix it.
You’re liable, just admit it.
I should have flown with someone else
Or gone by car,
Cuz United Breaks Guitars.

Well I won’t say that I’ll never fly
With you again cuz maybe
To save the world I probably would
But that won’t likely happen.

And if it did, I wouldn’t bring my luggage,
Cuz you’d just got and break it
Into a thousand pieces
Just like you broke my heart.
When United breaks guitars.

United, United,
You broke my Taylor Guitar.
United, United,
Some big help you are.

You broke it, you should fix it.
You’re liable, just admit it.
I should have flown with someone else
Or gone by car,
Cuz United Breaks Guitars.

Yeah, United breaks guitars.
Yeah, United breaks guitars.