The old census taker ban's my name from this town's population
Misfit ain't to the word I'd use to fit my situation
My predicaments known to every bum for miles around
It's my misfortune to be fortunate bummin' in a one bum town

Since I cannot afford a cup I've been sticking out my hand
You should see that things I get safety pins and rubber bands
It's so embarrassing cause my homemade sunglasses keep falling down
Somebody up there has got it in for me bummin' in a one bum town

We'll sheriff Brown has passed a law that prohibits all givin'
But one stop sign gives tourists time to help me make a livin'
Ballpoint pens have forced me to close my pencil business down
The side cops take turns walkin' up and down the sides
Bummin' in a one bum town

Since I cannot afford a cup...