and sleep half the day
when the drugs have gone away
wake up and lazily fill the rest of the day
just to recognize the pain
and again end up with narcotics in veins

that's the way it goes, decay of former hopes
- decay of life
the sands of time will make me disappear
thrown up memories make their way through the clouds of my consciousness

the empty spot at the wall in front of me
makes changes vanish in the sand
and after all makes nothing come undone

run, everyday
reaching goals along the way,
that others yearn for
there is no real movement but they don't see while going on
until energy is drained, hasty life is taken towards end

enjoy peace after breakdown, while the traces of pain and scraps of
memories weaken, die away.
another circle has closed, nightmares of emotional impression fade in
fragile stability.
another day of running away, one of these beginnings with the end
already known.

another scar, a mark on the way left behind.
another dawn, the sun warming only the surface.

the empty spot at the wall in front of me
makes changes vanish in the sand
and after all makes nothing come undone

back in the silence of isolation
the effort's worth a question rather than conviction
all reasons crumble, in a raging commotion passions turn to dust
as i recognize i am still myself. just myself.