[ziltoid]
Blattaria! war princess!
I am here with my new best friends
The human beings who are now my army!
And together, we shall defeat you!
Captain spectacular!

[captain spectacular]
Right here, ziltoid!

[ziltoid]
Yes. please, provide me with the weapon
(don't do it captain, don't do it!)

[ziltoid]
Ha! fooled you, poopypants!

[captain spectacular]
What? but- butbutbut ziltoid!

[ziltoid]
Yes. I have duped the humans
Into thinking I am on their side!

[captain spectacular]
Ziltoid, we had a deal!
You signed a contract!

[ziltoid] yes, I signed it in pencil
With my left hand
I mean, you're just so dumb, it- it hurts!

[captain spectacular]
Ziltoid, how could you do this?

[ziltoid]
Oh please, do you actually think
That there's anything in common
Between me and you, human?

[captain spectacular]
There's more you have in common
With humans than you realize
Think back to your childhood!
You must know how I know!

[ziltoid] what are you blathering about?

[captain spectacular]
Ziltoid, search your memories
Don't I look familiar to you?

[ziltoid] just tell me!

[captain spectacular]
We have the same mother!

[ziltoid] woah!

[narrator]
Turns out, captain spectacular
Is ziltoid's half-brother!

[ziltoid] woah!

[blattaria]
Will you losers get on with it?
What are you talking about over there?

[captain spectacular]
I have something here from our mother!
And she wanted you to have it
This is the universe's ultimate coffee bean!

[ziltoid]
Woah! gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!

[captain spectacular]
Ziltoid, you were always destined
To be humanity's last hope! now end this!

[ziltoid]
Wow, this is so heavy
And unbelievably cheesy!
Oh well, planet smasher
I command the attack!

[burping]
Woah, what the heck!

[blattaria]
Ha ha ha! nice weapon!

[ziltoid]
Oh crap!

[blattaria]
Ziltoid, I see you have a soft spot
Well, let me show you how we play in my world!
Captain spectacular, you die!

[captain spectacular]
Ayeayeayeayeayeayeaya

[ziltoid]
No!

[narrator]
All... seemed to be lost

[ziltoid]
My brother!

[narrator]
What ziltoid failed to realize is
The planet smasher needed
His own reasons to summon his ungodly power!

[ziltoid]
Noo!

[narrator]
The pain of his brother dying pierces
His withered heart!

[ziltoid]
Ugh, so lame!

[narrator]
As ziltoid kneels beside his fallen brother
As if in a dream
The song they'd sing together
As children is all of a sudden on his lips

[ziltoid]
Memories... all alone with the memories

[planet smasher roars]

[narrator]
The war princess wasn't about to go quietly
She grabbed out, got a hold of ziltoid
And in that moment they were both... gone!
Turns out the thing
The planet smasher hated the most
Was musicals! who saw that coming?

[earthling 1]
They're gone! we're free!
We're free! captain spectacular saved us!

[earthling 2]
And so did ziltoid!

[earthlings]
Hip hip hooray!

[narrator]
So ziltoid, the war princess
And the poozers are jettisoned through
That hairy wormhole
The planet smasher
Off to wherever planet smashers go
The musicals worked! the humans
Now left alone amongst themselves
To celebrate, wallowing in the sacrifice
Of captain spectacular
Yet giddy in the joy of their survival
Awash with the promise of their brand
New world, voices raised together
In celebratory blissful song
The earth sang as one- believe it, or not