From a youth of waste
A life of mess
It's a prize to be able to
Express myself
But first

My name is kevin rowland
I'm the leader of the band
Herein I wish to clarify
Relate
And state my plans
Tales from near and foreign parts
But my friends before we start
I would like to call upon
Pc barrington

Well now
There's no point in punishing
The guilty with their crimes
I've been chastised so many times
I get bitter more every time
Pc barrington and me
We're inclined to disagree
He does not see things like I do

Y'see
I'm not pleading ignorance
Of fundamental things
Politics must be dealt with
But they should not be dwelt in

Yeah, well, I thought a little
Joke might be a good idea
Just to sorta, I dunno
Kick off the proceedings
As it were, y'know
Whattaya think, good idea?
Yeah, did you ever hear the one
About the, um, y'know, the
Middle-class idiots, who, who

Sorta, spend all their time
Analyzing their own emotions
And writing bullshit poetry
Y'know, that we're supposed to read
[Laughter begins]
I mean, as if we're fuckin' interested!

(That's a good one!)
Y'like that one, eh?
(Where did ya hear that one?)
(Did'ja make it up yourself?)
No, no, it's a true story! Honestly!