[Shock G] You woke up, threw on a striped yellow tie Threw down a cup of coffee, kissed the wifey goodbye Leave the office each day around eleven o'clock Then you drive, stop, park, walk about three blocks To a peep-show booth and meet a girl named Ruth Wasn't sweating the shame, didn't use your real name Booked a hotel room, suite paid until June Get home and tell wifey that you're not in the mood But then the game got stale and your face grew pale When you came home early that day feeling ill Stepped through the door, dropped your brief and your beeper Your wife is getting down with all your housekeepers You was mesmerised, how could you be surprised? Only gave it to her Christmas and the fourth of July Oh, you had it going on, with ease you really worked it Let's review the scene just to see if it was worth it: Okay, last fall's when you started it all October to when you caught your wife bending over Broke up your home now you're on your own You lost your dignity; your self-respect is gone I got to laugh though, cuz, cause you thought you was slick At least she got it free, but you? Youse a big trick You helped the pimps get paid, took a shot at catching AIDS And got your wife turned out by the butler and the maid
[Chorus] Your life's a cartoon
[Shock G] Try to take a nod on the bus, put your ear in a blob Left by a moisturiser overdoing slob Nice and wet down your neck with the jheri curl drip Couldn't see out the window cause the drip was so thick Walking through the mall with the house shoe lag Greasy doorag, sour jheri curl bag Loud talking and walking jerking your neck It's the first of the month, you got your welfare check Storekeeper johns, they're rubbing their palms Cause they know you never read the words in the Koran Where it tells you don't be jealous âbout what you don't have Support the brother who opens up a shop on the Ave. You want slack cause you're black but if it ain't dirt cheap You're quick to say [Humpty: I'm finna go cross the skreet] And that's another thing, man, the way you're talking is played You got to know the language if you wanna get paid Oh, you got a few ends, you might be driving a Benz But it's the credit man who wins out in the end He's got your car loan, interest on your mother's home He's got your daddy paying off shit he don't even own That's what I'm talking âbout, man, what's the deal But just listen, I ain't dissing, this shit is for real Get yourself a nose job, yeah that's down Trying to look like a white man, you brainwashed clown You're up on European fashion and Japanese cars But if Wong pulled his market off the block you'd starve