Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
Available on the album Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player

I was sitting in the classroom
Trying to look intelligent
In case the teacher looked at me
She was long and she was lean
She's a middle-aged dream
And that lady means the whole world to me

It's a natural achievement
Conquering my homework
With her image pounding in my brain
She's an inspiration
For my graduation
And she helps to keep the classroom sane


Oh teacher I need you like a little child
You got something in you to drive a schoolboy wild
You give me education in the lovesick blues
Help me get straight come out and say
Teacher I, teacher I, teacher I, Teacher I need you


I have to write a letter
Tell about my feelings
Just to let her know the scene
Focus my attention
On some further education
In connection with the birdies and the bees


So I'm sitting in the classroom
I'm looking like a zombie
I'm waiting for the bell to ring
I've got John Wayne stances
I've got Erroll Flynn advances
And it doesn't mean a doggone thing