[Intro: Prince Markie Dee]

Man, all these problems in our world today
I just don't know what to do, man

[Verse One: Prince Markie Dee]

If it ain't one thing, it's another
Sell a million copies? They put me on a magazine cover
I sell one or two, they claim that I'm played out
My girl nags me at home, so, I shoulda stayed out
I buy a new car, it runs out of gas
In school, I was always gettin' kicked out of class
Mom would say, "Be like your older brother!"
If it ain't one thing it's another

[Talk: Prince Markie Dee]

You know what I'm sayin' man?
I mean, all these problems
Let me tell ya `bout the time when I - Well, let me break it down for ya

[Verse Two:] Prince Markie Dee

Picked up my date at eight in a happy mood
Drove to City Island for some seafood
$3.99 for all you can eat
Shrimp galore, bon apetit
We ate hearty `till we couldn't eat
Went to the Marriott, paid for a suite
She was anxious even more that me
And, man, I got busy as a bumblebee
When we were done, I drove her home
Proceeded to my house, all alone
It started rainin', I was playin' Bobby Brown
I missed my exit, so, I circled around
And that's when it happened, I didn't get far
A pole jumped in front of my car
I broke my leg, man, do I stutter?
If it ain't one thing, it's anuddah, bruddah

[Verse Three:] Kool Rock Ski

On tour for so long that it wears me down
I've been to every city and every small town
And, after a while, things start to ache
I want my body to move, that d-mn thing won't shake
Then, one night, the last date on tour
From that morning my throat was sore
I started gettin' worried, it wound't be long
`Cause the way my throat was hurtin', it would soon be gone
Then, wouldn't you know? You know it, yes
I tried to say somthin' but I was voiceless
Showtime came, I had to lip-synch
It got so wild that I couldn't think
The show was done, a doctor checked my health
I spent the night all by myself
Man, what a bummer, what did I stutter?
If it ain't one thing, it's anuddah, bruddah