Are you sitting comfortably? Let me tell you all a story
About a friendly little creature called the Zeitbeast
He's like a tiny cow, with the temperament of a dog
And the nervous roving eyes of an artiste
Some say he's from the Delta
or that he belonged to Frank Sinatra
Or maybe Miles Davis (Though he was into cats)
All I know for certain is that he ended up with Elvis
And that wherever that beast lays, that's where it's at

He's the Zeitbeast
If you try to pet him too hard then the Zeitbeast will run away
He's the Zeitbeast
But if you're gentle, open and relaxed
the Zeitbeast will likely stay

Regardless of where he's from
where he's headed is the question
That should exercise the curious, cultured mind
Because wherever he ends up
he's at the centre of a certain kind of circle
Which I'll try here to define
You see the Zeitbeast doesn't hang out with the cool kids
The cool kids always try and hang with him
He likes the taste of new ideas
and the smell of those who mean it
And the kind of people the cool kids don't let in

He's the Zeitbeast
If you try to pet him too hard then the Zeitbeast will run away
He's the Zeitbeast
But if you're gentle, open and relaxed
the Zeitbeast will likely stay

So he was snuffling 'round Sunset in the sixties
Until the scenesters scared him off to London Town
He hung out at the Marquee with Hendrix and the Yardbirds
While all that heavy shit was going down
The seventies found him stuck in CBGBs
Until he snuck uptown to Studio 54
And later, back up in Manchester
In the midst of that loving second summer
Folks said they saw him sniffing round
the Hacienda's back door
And he'll be sniffing around for evermore

So where's the Zeitbeast now?
If you're looking you won't find him anyhow
Here's the deal
He's not a mascot, not your pet
He likes the smell of honest sweat
He's yet to play the clarinet
Like an elephant he never forgets

He's the Zeitbeast
If you try to pet him too hard then the Zeitbeast will run away
He's the Zeitbeast
If you're gentle, open and relaxed the Zeitbeast will likely stay

He's the Zeitbeast
He's looking for a soulmate who's not scared to bear their soul
He's the Zeitbeast
With a clear set of ideals and the Zeitbeast at your heels
You'll find your rock and roll